Who’s Taking Up Space in Your Mind? The Hidden Cost of Para-Social Relationships

Have you ever caught yourself deep in thought about someone you don’t even know? Maybe it’s an influencer sharing their perfect morning routine, a celebrity’s latest scandal, or a business guru promising the next big breakthrough.

I recently heard the term para-social relationships from entrepreneurial mentor Daniel Priestley, and it stopped me in my tracks. It perfectly describes this one-sided connection we form with public figures - people who have no idea we exist, yet occupy space in our minds and influence how we see our own lives.

What Are Para-Social Relationships?

Para-social relationships are emotional connections we form with people we don’t personally know - usually public figures, influencers, or celebrities. While these relationships feel real to us, they’re entirely one-sided. And thanks to today’s online world, we’re forming these connections more frequently than ever before.

The Science Behind Why We Get Hooked

Our brains are hardwired for social connection. Thanks to mirror neurones, simply watching someone live their life can make us feel as if we’re experiencing it too. When you see that influencer sipping a matcha latte on a sun-drenched balcony or hear a motivational speaker talk about their million-dollar success, those same neurones fire—triggering a sense of shared experience, even though it isn’t your reality.

Add to that the constant dopamine hits we get from scrolling perfectly curated content, and it’s no wonder we feel emotionally invested. Our brain rewards us with tiny bursts of pleasure, keeping us coming back for more. Over time, this creates an illusion of intimacy, where we feel connected to people we’ve never met—sometimes more connected than we feel to ourselves.

How This Plays Out in Real Life

But it’s not just happening online.

Think about it—how often do we fall into this trap without even realising it? You’re at a social gathering, and suddenly the conversation turns to a celebrity scandal or what some influencer “supposedly” did. You stand there for the next 15 minutes, nodding along while everyone dissects someone’s life choices—someone who has no idea you even exist.

That’s a quarter of an hour you’ll never get back. A moment that could have sparked a conversation about personal dreams, new ideas, or real human connection.

Reclaiming Your Time and Energy

So, here’s the question I want to leave you with:

👉 How much energy are you spending on people who don’t even know your name… while your own life quietly waits for your full attention?

This isn’t about judgment; it’s about awareness. Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and quiet moments—it’s also about protecting your mental and emotional space. Every time we compare our lives to someone else’s highlight reel, we create distance from our own reality. We push aside the quiet moments of reflection. We delay the deep, nourishing self-love that’s gently asking for our attention.

If you’re feeling disconnected or stuck in a cycle of “not enough,” it might be time to turn the spotlight back onto yourself.

✨ Imagine if you took even half the energy spent watching others and invested it into your own growth, joy, and fulfilment. Who might you become?

This is your invitation to close the apps, mute the noise, and reconnect with the most important relationship you’ll ever have—the one with you.

Ready to reclaim that energy and pour it back into your own beautiful life?
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